Growing Up

About twenty minutes ago my mom asked me when I was finally going to grow up. You see, in less than 48 hours I will be boarding a plane to London, England, where I will be living for the next 4 months and I guess from her perspective she believes I couldn't care less. To be fair, I am not a particularly outwardly emotional person and this irks her to no end. I've never been the kid to jump up and down on Christmas morning or to scream with excitement or joy. Even when I was a baby I was basically dead to the world (my mom's exact words), but as I've grown up I think I've realized why. It isn't so much that I'm not excited or grateful or happy, but rather, I tend to see everything from a "big picture" perspective. So much so that it tends to overshadow my excitement almost instantly.

So yes, I am over the moon about traveling around Europe and seeing incredible places and meeting new people, but at the same time I have reservations: I have to manage school, money, transportation, an internship, and all the other things that normally I get to take for granted. I have to stay healthy and on top of my shit so to speak because no one is going to be there to bail me out if I mess up. So I guess,  Mom, in answer to your question, I'll be doing quite a bit of growing up in about 48 hours time. 

But if we're being honest- and I'm really trying to be here- I hope to God I never grow up, at least not really. It doesn't even look remotely fun. Taxes, work (or lack thereof), responsibility...I just don't get the hype. My future pretty much hangs over me like a dark cloud that's about to unleash the fricken storm of the century at any moment. Sure, it's probably not all bad, but you know what? Neither was nap time or recess or coloring- or riding bikes or playing superheroes or building forts (that were actually still easy to get in and out of). When did retirement become the new Santa Claus...something you believed in but may never see? I understand growing up is inevitable and I know life is what you make of it, but really, would it be so terrible to be young for just a little bit longer?

Food for thought.